12. Life is sexually transmitted.
11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die..
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich.
9. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
8. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for
anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the
stairs.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I start feeling blue, I start breathing again.
5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents.
3. In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I
have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
1. And, most “terrorists” are reported to have come to the US
legally, but they then hang around on expired visas, some for as long as 10
to 15 years. Now, at Hollywood Video if you’re 2 days late with a video,
those people are all over you. So, why isn’t Hollywood Video in charge of
immigration?