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Elizabeth Ramer

Elizabeth Ramer

I have a very particular set of skills

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Do you like it Greek style?

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn’t take long before he is on the stool next to her. They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, “You’re really hot!”

You’re pretty cute, too,” she says to him. “I’ll tell you what. I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?”

It sounds great!” the man eagerly replies. Before we go up there though the woman says, “I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?”

“Well…uh…I’m not exactly sure what that is,” the man answers, “but it sure sounds interesting and I’m willing to learn! Let’s go!” So the two of them walk over to her apartment. As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can’t believe his eyes. The woman has an incredibly beautiful body. “Now, you’re *sure*,” the woman asks, “that you want to do it Greek style?”

“Definitely!” the man replies.

“All right, then,” says the woman. “Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees.”

“Sounds like fun!” the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man.

She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again, “Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?”

“Yeah! Yeah!” says the man.

The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can’t move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest. One more time she says, “Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?”

The man’s muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts.

“Yeah!” he mumbles, “Greek style!”

The woman’s grip on him tightens like a vice to where he couldn’t get away if he tried, and she yells out, “Hey Gus, he’s ready!”

Can you tell I’m in a mood for a story?

One of my all time favs….

– THE EVE OF THE WAR

Music: Jeff Wayne
Lyrics: Jeff Wayne
Book: Doreen Wayne
Premiere: 1975

JOURNALIST: No one would have believed, in the last years of the
nineteenth century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds
of space.

No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized, as someone with a microscope
studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered
the possibility of life on other planets and yet, across the gulf of space, minds
immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and
surely, they drew their plans against us.

At midnight on the twelfth of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars
and sped towards Earth. Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling
towards us, came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth.
As I watched, there was another jet of gas. It was another missile, starting on its way.

And that’s how it was for the next ten nights. A flare, spurting out from Mars – bright
green, drawing a green mist behind it – a beautiful, but somehow disturbing sight. Ogilvy,
the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger. He was convinced there could be no
living thing on that remote, forbidding planet.

“The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one,” he said.
“The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one – but still they
come!”

JOURNALIST: Then came the night the first missile approached Earth. It was thought
to be an ordinary falling star, but next day there was a huge crater in the middle of the
Common, and Ogilvy came to examine what lay there: a cylinder, thirty yards across,
glowing hot… and with faint sounds of movement coming from within.

Suddenly the top began moving, rotating, unscrewing, and Ogilvy feared there was a
man inside, trying to escape. he rushed to the cylinder, but the intense heat stopped him
before he could burn himself on the metal.

“The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one,” he said.
“The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one – but they still
come!”
“Yes, the chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one,” he said.
“The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one – but they still come!”

It seems totally incredible to me now that everyone spent that evening as
though it were just like any other. From the railway station came the sound of
shunting trains, ringing and rumbling, softened almost into melody by the distance. It all
seemed so safe and tranquil.

Cheesecake

Eddie’s Cheesecake
Crust:
1 & 1/2 cups Graham cracker Crumbs
1/2 cup sugar
4-5 tablespoons margarine (melted)
Filling:
24 ounces cream cheese (3 8oz bars)
4 eggs
1 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup heavy cream
1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
1 pint sour cream
2 Tablespoons flour

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Combine ingredients for crust. Press into the bottom of a springform pan. Place in the freezer while preparing the filling.
Mix all filling ingredients together.
Pour batter into the prepared crust.
Place pan in a larger pan filled with water.
Bake at 375 degrees for one hour.
Cool in closed oven for one hour.
Refrigerate overnight to chill completely.

Why men are not secretaries

Husband’s note on refrigerator to his wife:

Someone from the Guyna College called.
They said Pabst beer is normal.

Nigerian EMail Conference

The 3rd Annual Nigerian
EMail Conference
“Write better emails. Make more moneys.”

Preliminary List of Events

As in the past, this conference has something for everyone. You will hear
presentations by some of the world’s leading Nigerian Email businessmenand
businesswomen.

Following are just a few of the many events that are scheduled.

Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.

Keynote Address:
Dr. Hamza Kalu’s adds some historical perspective in his keynote address:
“From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child.”

Debate:
Attend a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem.
Topic: “The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters.”

Practical Discussion:
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, “Are 10 million emails a day too
many?”

See http://j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm for the source of this

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This is a personal blog, and it spans over 14 years. You may see some cussing, ranting, a little weirdness and alot of stupidity. Oh, and whining.

Over the years I’ve used it to test things I maybe shouldn’t have messed with (innocent look), and I’ve tried to clean up but may have missed some stuff. You’ve been warned.

  • Computer Technology
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Copyright © 2025 Elizabeth Ramer